


Back Home to You

by crackpairingprincess



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Self Hatred, M/M, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 17:14:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7901053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crackpairingprincess/pseuds/crackpairingprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I'm done playing your game.” He says without much feeling. He can't muster up the energy. He wonders how much of this is still worth fighting for. “You can't only love me when I'm around. I can't keep chasing you.” </p>
<p><i>I can't keep up.</i> He doesn't say that. He doesn't need to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Back Home to You

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt fill for [ this fic meme](http://trash-by-vouge.tumblr.com/post/132858041745/the-way-you-said-i-love-you) #22: muffled, through the door

 

_ Oh what a let down yeah it's happened again   
but it's never enough to keep you out of my head _

 

 

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know, just…. Something. Anything." Oikawa's voice is strained, like he wants to scream but can't. Iwaizumi stares at him hard. He can feel his lip turn up in a sneer without his permission. The party downstairs was still going and the music pounded through the floor with a heavy bass. Oikawa’s shirt was twisted and slightly open, having buttoned it wrong on his way out of the closet. The guy he was with had ran off the moment Iwaizumi opened the door to find someone else all over his boyfriend. 

 

Iwaizumi leans against the wall and watches Oikawa’s face going through a variety of emotions. His taller boyfriend looked like he might cry. 

 

“Say something, Hajime!” Iwaizumi blinks at him, but says nothing. Oikawa keeps yelling, his voice getting louder with every word, “Scream at me, tell me I’m gross, or that you hate me! Just say something...please.”

 

Iwaizumi smiles, but it’s a self deprecating look. He turns and heads back the hallway and into his room. Well, their room. But he shuts the door before Oikawa can follow him in. He slumps down against the door and sighs. This can’t keep happening. But he knows there’s nothing he can do to stop it. Oikawa will be Oikawa, regardless of what Iwaizumi wants. 

 

They’ve been together on and off for a few years now, and it seems like it’s time to do the ‘off’ part of the cycle again. This is the way it goes. They’re together and happy, Oikawa cheats, they break up, then they make up. Rinse and repeat. It’s stupid and twisted and Iwaizumi can’t help but feel like it’s getting old. The back of his head thumps against the wood of the door.

 

This is usually the part where Iwaizumi starts yelling, and Oikawa starts crying, and they go to bed angry and alone. But Iwaizumi is tired, of this, and of everything. 

 

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa says, and Iwaizumi feels him sliding down the other side of the door. This has been going on too long. It's too much, and not nearly enough. Maybe it was time to end it. 

 

“I'm sick of this.” He says clearly, so Oikawa can hear him through the thick wood of the door and the bass that still pounds through the floorboards. He's as certain of his words as much as he is unsure, but Oikawa seems to believe them because there's a broken inhale from the other side of the door. 

 

“What?” Comes the choked response. Iwaizumi knows Oikawa is on edge. This isn't how the cycle goes. 

 

“I'm done playing your game.” He says without much feeling. He can't muster up the energy. He wonders how much of this is still worth fighting for. “You can't only love me when I'm around. I can't keep chasing you.”

 

_ I can't keep up. _ He doesn't say that. He doesn't need to. 

Oikawa is silent from the other side of the door, like he isn't there at all. But Iwaizumi knows better; has known Oikawa for long enough that he can feel his presence so very close to his own. 

 

“I don't want to play anymore either.” It's quiet, spoken into the beat of the distorted music, but Iwaizumi hears it. He could pick out Oikawa's voice anywhere. 

 

It's not that he didn't expect it. No, he's well aware that his boyfriend cheats out of some twisted form of self hatred. He knows that Oikawa looks in the mirror and sees someone unworthy of love. It's not that he didn't expect it. It just came easier than he had thought. A smile tugs at his lips. Maybe a break in the cycle worked both ways. 

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay?” Oikawa's voice echoes back. Iwaizumi closes his eyes and imagines the way Oikawa is picking at the carpet, curled up and red faced from his ugly crying fit. Iwaizumi loves that ugly crier.

 

“We'll fix this.” As many times as they have split, fixing it was never an option. Forgive and forget, deny and cover. Iwaizumi wouldn't do that anymore. 

 

Oikawa sniffles and Iwaizumi knows his boyfriend is going to cry again. There's more sniffing and the door between them shakes. When Oikawa speaks again his words are muffled by the door and the lump in his throat. Even through snot and tears, Iwaizumi could get lost in his voice.  

“I love you, Iwa-chan.”

 

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi breathes out, “I love you too.”

 

He slides a hand under the door as far as he can, feeling Oikawa's fingers brush his own in instant response. This might not work, his mind nags at him. This might just be a new cycle, one he can run into the ground like the rest. But Oikawa's skin is warm on his and he feels closer to his boyfriend then he has in a while. So, this. This is okay for now. 

 

“We're going to be okay.” Oikawa says, though Iwaizumi is sure it's more to convince himself. So, he presses a cheek to the rough wood of the door and smiles. 

 

“I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Prompt Me](http://crackpairingprincess.tumblr.com/)


End file.
